“Wait, Is it a romantic date?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

Recently on “Wait, Is it a romantic date?” we are accompanied by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Keyword

specialist
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. You heard that right! This event is all about lesbian interconnectivity — hooking up with friends’ exes, buddies hooking up with our exes, and the culture developed by all that crisis.

Appear for all the news, remain when it comes down to psychological control. And before that enjoy a game title that exams Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she typically wouldn’t normally.)

Thanks a lot for all the nice feedback after our premiere! When you yourself haven’t yet give consideration to providing us with a rating or test!

PROGRAM RECORDS

+ Five years ago Riese developed an
Old Hollywood data
that is the intersection of most my personal interests.

+ Here Is
the essay
I reference in which We mention connecting using my roommates.

+ My crush of the few days Mj Rodriguez released a music video on her tune
“something you should Say”
!

+ As somebody who has just observed a handful of symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush of week C.C. Babcock had been stunning in my experience with regards to turned-out she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina tells me they basically nonetheless are.)

Drew:

I would personally be really great along with it present. I would never add someone else without their unique authorization. Nevertheless the idea of whenever someone ended up being like, “make sure you might be linked to me,” I would wind up as, “Yeah, oahu is the life I’ve stayed. I don’t mind.” Would be that strange? Is that problems?

Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, i’d feel bad not. I might wind up as, “Wait, I’m not sleeping?”

Theme tune performs

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And welcome to

Hold Off, So Is This A Romantic Date?

Christina:


Hold Off, Is This A Romantic Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big questions. Firstly, can it be a night out together? Preciselywhat are dates? That dates? Do we like dates? They are sort of questions that people address about here extremely professional and beautiful podcast.

Drew:

I am Drew Gregory. I am a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I am Christina Tucker. I am in addition an author at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer on the net. Im recovering at describing myself as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. Which is united states. That’s just who we are.

Drew:

Yeah. And thus the main topic this week may be the Chart.

Christina:

I just believed it required a sting. I’m not sure. That felt really remarkable, but i do believe it required it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Thank you, thanks a lot. No, no, no. Appropriate amount of crisis.

Christina:

Thank-you.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re making reference to lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I like that phrase given that it seems like you’ll want to resume the lesbians. It may sound like connection to the internet is not operating.

Drew:

Yes. it is extremely advanced level, very innovative, but additionally has been in existence since there has been lesbians, In my opinion.

Christina:

Yeah. I think scholars will say as soon as they discovered the most important lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside ones created inside sand. And I also genuinely believe that’s exactly what that motion picture is approximately, correct? It is more about the information? That film with Kate Winslet while the mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that is what it’s about.

Drew:

If only

Ammonite

was about cavern ladies. I’d enjoy that lesbian flick.

Christina:

Really, when I have not observed it, I’m going to fearlessly point out that it had been. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Since it is like there is so many lesbian period parts, but we’ve never ever eliminated back that much. And that I believe it’s the perfect time we would.

Christina:

Why don’t we only hold getting it more back in its history.

Drew:

Before we obtain to the main topic, you are nonetheless getting to know all of us. And I believed it could be fun to experience a-game for which you dudes could really become familiar with Christina. So our icebreaker with this week is a little online game that I name “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I am, again, so pressured about it. This could you should be how i-come to the online game. This might be my personal game mentality, just a little high-key, slightly stressed. Which is okay. We’re all learning.

Drew:

In my opinion that is great. I believe that push you to be more susceptible, perhaps.

Christina:

Among my personal favorite feelings.

Drew:

Just a terror, simply an intense terror. Therefore, the manner in which “Would U-Haul” works is i’ll describe a situation. Let us call it Christina fan fiction. And I also’m gonna pause after each little section to be love, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure that you have never lived with somebody, don’t want to accept somebody. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And that I will sometimes say yes or I’ll state, “i am prepared.”

Drew:

If you don’t — really, we’re going to see right here. But I’m thrilled. I think I possibly cracked the signal.

Christina:

You have damaged the rule? I’m thrilled.

Drew:

Let’s observe long this requires. Of course you never do, I think you win? I’m not sure exactly how there are champions here.

Christina:

I am not sure that we now have winners within the game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Well, I don’t know if you’ll go along with that next. And so I’m getting heading.

Christina:

Fair enough.

Drew:

Okay. Therefore, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You are at your friend’s wedding ceremony. Regardless of the great number of romcoms you have soaked up, you probably did maybe not choose this marriage thinking you would fulfill anyone because, well, this is simply not a romcom. Here is the real and regular longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You are taking the designated seat and are generally glancing at your telephone as soon as you recognize a woman at your dining table is looking at you. She presents by herself as your friend’s previous babysitter. She is stayed a buddy of this household, but she doesn’t truly know anyone there. She appears like mid-forties features a striking angular face. You start talking. She offers to get you a drink. And when she rises, you understand she is six foot tall, 6′ 3″ in pumps. And that means you know very well what? I’m simply going to stop there and get similar, at this stage, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I am captivated. I am captivated because i may get put at the wedding ceremony. But to date I am not U-Hauling everywhere.

Drew:

Cool. Which is completely fair. Totally reasonable. Okay. Which means you spend whole marriage observing each other. There is simply an immediate spark and instant chemistry. And indeed, you are doing get together and gender is incredible.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And this wedding was at Northern Ca. And that means you both increase your own remains for three days to shag and explore and consume at restaurants and shag. And you also offer to divide the expense of the now shared place, but she laughs you off and it is like, “clearly not, honey.” So that the next three days are magic. You really feel your own wall space tumbling all the way down. You’re slipping faster than you actually have actually. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Thus just for clarity’s benefit, I’m having difficulty imagining a global for which I got three surprise times off try to hang out with you i really do perhaps not know. That appears bonkers. In case I did, beneficial to myself. But i am not U-Hauling at this stage. It will likely be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. That’s fine. You simply found. I get it. I get it. Okay.

Christina:

Thanks a lot a great deal.

Drew:

So she returns to nyc and also you return to Philadelphia.

Christina:

This is where We reside.

Drew:

And you are texting all the time. That’s where you reside and it’s also in which this girl lives. And you are texting constantly therefore see one another multiple times a month. She’s really hectic with her task, but she actually is quick buying you a train solution to come see her and remain at the woman stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. Immediately after which six months pass. And another evening when you’re over to supper, she requires one relocate together with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And relocate to New York? I really don’t really love nyc. No, I’m not relocating during the 6 months tag. I’m not carrying out that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Completely, totally, totally. Wow. Okay. Which means you hold matchmaking cross country. She realizes that you will need some time and she actually is happy to watch for you. A few more several months pass. Its today already been over annually. Your property manager informs you that they are attempting to sell your place to a developer who’s investing in condos, which means you can not renew it. You should find a new place. Your today gf tells you that no stress, but the woman present nevertheless appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this point, i might U-Haul for 2 explanations.

Drew:

Yay! Okay. Kindly inform us.

Christina:

Largely, in some sort of whereby my personal property manager ended up selling my house to improve it, my personal property owner is now my personal closest friend, making sure that may seem like one thing moved wrong within our friendship. And I should simply leave Philadelphia in any event. Of course, if I get to maneuver in with my sweetheart over here, that seems good. That is good. Completely good. But yeah, In my opinion I might require an external energy like a mean landlord.

Drew:

That is therefore — ok. I did believe you’ll want to need property for here, and so I’m glad We realized that.

Christina:

Yeah. That’s exactly what needs to affect me initial.

Drew:

Really, i am glad to know what it’s going to take. Therefore in theory, if perhaps you weren’t kicked away, simply how much more time?

Christina:

Truthfully, might went on for some time. Philly and New York commonly also that definately not one another. I obtained space over right here. We are moving back and forth. We’re having good times. I could have allow that roll for quite some time until i suppose Shoshana turns into the worst individual i am aware.

Drew:

I didn’t realize Shoshana owned home. Really, there you choose to go.

Christina:

There we get. Wow, that was exciting.

Drew:

Well, many thanks for playing.

Christina:

I am stressed, are clear.

Drew:

And I also’m glad that I know… Maybe if you’re previously, therefore if anybody’s ever online dating both you and wants one to move in, maybe your sweetheart informed Shoshana to sell our home with regard to your own commitment.

Christina:

Honestly the quickest means — some one would just have to talk to Shoshana and start to become like, “Just kick her on.” Then she’d wind up as, “Yeah, sure. However.” That might be how it took place, though she failed to offer the house. Some body would you should be like, “Can you merely kick this lady out thus she’ll only get over it and relocate beside me?” And she’d state yes. A hundred percent she’d accomplish that. That is what friendship is.

Drew:

I love that.

Christina:

Yeah, that is truly stunning.

Drew:

Well, I feel like we learned plenty about yourself.

Christina:

Cheers. I feel like We learned a lot about myself personally, too. Threat of homelessness is really the thing that keeps me personally moving in any circumstance, i assume. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that is fantastic.

Christina:

That has been really thrilling. I’m equally delighted to maneuver into the primary segment because i believe dealing with lesbian connectivity with this particular visitor, because of this unique guest, i do believe it will likely be amazing, Drew. Exactly how will you be feeling?

Drew:

I am so excited. That is a professional. By that, i am talking about an

L Keyword

expert, but in addition a small amount of an expert during the subject in front of you.

Christina:

I do believe a few things are true, my buddy. I believe two things is generally true undoubtedly. Will we wish to introduce our visitor or do we wish the visitor introducing on their own?

Drew:

I’d love all of our visitor to introduce herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I shall say that the visitor will be the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, speak.

Riese:

Hi, I Am Riese. And is strange to be the visitor!

Christina:

Yeah, really.

Riese:

I got never to say something. I didn’t actually take action. I did state circumstances. I’d to stay right here silently.

Christina:

And you also had been truly fearless. Along with your confronts had been appreciated.

Riese:

Thank you so much a great deal.

Christina:

Though this is exactly clearly an audio medium, I want all of our listeners to find out that Riese ended up being producing some great impulse faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

Absolutely various ways to be heard. You know what I mean? That’s what I always state. Im the President of Autostraddle.com. And I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball team. And that’s myself. I have a puppy called Carol. And I have outdated folks.

Christina:

Congrats about kickball!

Riese:

Thank-you. I’ve been involved with men and women.

Christina:

Great. Enjoying that. Which is fantastic to create to this, this here dating podcast. That’s excellent.

Riese:

Yeah. In my opinion that… can there be anything?

Drew:

No, i do believe that’s fantastic, Riese.

Christina:

Anything you like to share.

Riese:

I like raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.

Christina:

As opposed to…

Riese:

You Are Sure That an individual goes like…

Drew:

It’s like when you blow. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those tend to be disgusting, thus I merely evacuated them from my personal head.

Riese:

Yeah. And that is all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, we instantly thought of you because of this topic.

Christina:

That’s true.

Drew:

Because to start with, certainly, queer females and non-binary folks in lesbian community have now been like, I’m not sure, making love with individuals whom their friends have obtained gender with since well before

The L Word

ended up being previously a string. But i actually do feel like

The L Keyword

solidified a specific social concept of the data with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I decided you would have many understanding of this topic.

Riese:

It’s correct. A couple of people, I would like to state, of

The L Keyword

had this genuine chart of those as well as their buddies they certainly were drawing about wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, had been one among them. She chatted to all of us about it, which they had constructed this. Because obviously, everyone else for the reason that blogger’s room had banged people into the writer — you understand, and also the extended web of that generation of lesbians in Los Angeles. And in addition they noticed that and they were like, “Let’s place it inside the tv show.” Many ones are on the information. Like, some people just who … like, real people are throughout the information as a joke.

Christina:

Which is incredible. That’s the way you learn you have made it.

Riese:

Is not that sexy?

Christina:

That could be exciting for me personally.

Riese:

So for those who haven’t seen

The L Word,

first, congrats. Second, it gets the centerpiece of 1 of your direct figure, Alice’s, apartment. She’s every thing over her wall. Looked after will be the name of a m4m websites which they started labeled as ourchart.com that flopped. Together with concept … and it’s really from inside the pilot, i believe. When you look at the 1st event, Alice begins speaking about exactly how everybody’s connected, because every person’s installed because of this person. And that I can connect you, as if you’re probably no more than two levels away from me. And therefore had been real. Like, even with Dana, that has very limited knowledge because she was a closeted tennis player, they still managed to connect the girl. That is certainly actuality because it’s real.

Christina:

Which is society. Yeah. That is what culture appears to be.

Riese:

That is tradition. That is queer tradition there. And then everybody else can make their particular charts.

Christina:

Yeah. To ensure would be my then question, had been have either of you made a chart? Because I don’t believe I have, and I am sort of now thinking like, that was this this past year seated within my residence for easily don’t generate a chart? Like, the thing that was the purpose of that, truly?

Riese:

In my opinion i have done it in my log, just as like … Because i love, I’m not sure, planning information, I guess, as an idea exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, In my opinion that is in addition the reason why i’m amazed that i’ven’t accomplished it. I love the concept of categorizing things.

Riese:

Correct. Yeah. Because it is interesting. I’m not sure exactly why it really is therefore fascinating, however it is. Its fascinating are want, wow, all of these men and women, they are connected. Its untamed.

Drew:

Regarding the tv show, when ourchart.com is actually designed, they’ve a genuine data that people can also add things. And that I feel like something you joked when it comes to on

To L and Back,

and then folks say everyday is like, when this existed in a proper method, no body would place their particular names upon it, not one person would feel safe getting their own labels on it.

Riese:

Might.

Drew:

I might. I would be very good with-it current. I might never include somebody else without their permission. Although thought of similar, each and every time someone ended up being like, “make sure you’re connected with myself,” I’d wind up as, “Yeah, this is the life I stayed. I don’t worry about.” Is that unusual? Is that difficulty?

Christina:

No, because if I wasn’t, i’d feel bad not … i’d end up like, “Wait, I’m not upon it? Like, i am sorry, just what?” No, that will really send me personally into lighting ethical panic about just who I am as a person, the thing I’m carrying out. Have always been we interesting? Carry out men and women {like